EGO : Is it worth?

Today I received a call from someone dear to me. However after hearing my voice, the line cut off. If is saddening to see that misunderstanding cause the ruin of a friendship. I can't initiate a call back because I have to keep a promise of not doing so; as a respect privacy. Is ego such a big word?

Ego-----part of the characterictic which has kept the survival of human species from beginning of time. But in the face of civilization, is it still as important as it used to be?

Ego, hmmmm.....something interesting which i found out from Wikipedia, means "I", "Self", is from the Greekword  "Εγώ (Ego)". It also refers to "self-concept", "false self", "conceptual identity", or identification with individual existence. Hmmmm....something to think about. Ego hence is an identity which "I" wish to be seen as, a characteristic which "I" wish to potray. A concept one has of him/herself. A bigger hmmmm.......

Well, in that sense I think ego is seriously a big word. Something which cant live without, else we will lose identity of ourself? However, it must be kept at an arm's length. In existance but ought not be allowed to be dominant. After all it could be a "false self"..........

I think then ego need not be considered on a relationship level. If everyone is egoistic, where can we strike the balance? Everyone puts on an upper lip will never be effective in communication context. Is ego thus of any value? Seems to be given too much value at the moment from my observation. Many relationships broke down, unhappy marriages, unhappy friendship, unhappy parenting, all sorts......all for the sake of keeping something which could even be a "false self"? My gosh......isn't that an over-blown of its value?

Is it at the end worth it? For me it absolutely like chasing after the wind, the way Solomon would put it.
I hope every one who comes upon this today will give a minute and think.....

I hope one day my friendship with this friend will be restored in an even deeper understanding. Where ego will be out of the window :)
 

Proud, Meek or Low-esteemed?

Exodus.....A study of God's hand at work to save His people from the tyranny of a pharaoh. Browsing thru it, at the first chapter a new king who do not even know the famous prime minister Joseph. Funny?  Not at all. The Hyksos who were the protector of the Israelites in Egypt because of Joseph's influence has been overthrown and restored from the previous. It seems that Seti1 had not been educating his child of the history or perhaps too proud to do so, sweeping past failures under carpet instead of using it as a platform of learning. The new king, a young boy, decided that the Israelites are going to be too strong, and imposes heavy penalty for their strength, instead of learning to appreciate their work by absorbing talent into his new found kingdom. I presume being young is not a problem, but being proud at the same time low esteem is a problem. The Israelites were cruelly treated and marginalized. Banished to cover fear. Leader's quality? While it seems that leaders ought not be too proud, the passage reveals the two extremes. Proud leaders like Hitler makes millions suffers, low esteem leaders are even worst. Leaders.......successful balance between both.  

2013 A YEAR OF NEW BEGINNING

The lunar year had just passed, 2013 somehow feels different......there is a sense of peace....at least for me. I spent 2 weeks spring cleaning my room. Removing carpets and segregating things into boxes and labelled them properly is indeed tiring and well to me, tedious. Clothes everywhere on the bed, books stacks in bundles all around the room, yet dust are everywhere after removing the carpets. Its truly a mess. Such a disgrace to the eyes of anyone who sees it. Of course my temperament is also rising. Haha I am angry looking at those mess which i made! Like it or not I persevered through them and when i am almost done i heard a soft voice lingered in my heart, "the room needs a spring cleaning, how about your life?".  Those words are in instant blow to what i have been trying to avoid.......kaBBOOOMMMMM!!!!!!!

I have to admit besides having just left my things unattended, i have also have left issues in my life unattended. It is not that I care less about it because it always is at the back of my mind. Somehow i just don't feel that the time is right. But that very day, it seems to me that the time has finally arrived.

I begin tying knots to loose ends; end relationships which i know will never work. But most importantly come to terms with what my God has determined for me. The person I cared, can't be contacted as well. No matter how much i refused to accept it, i finally came to term with it. It seems my struggle has finished. Ended. Period. Perhaps that is what i feel now, issues settled and yes, SETTLED is the word. I felt rejuvenated and yes, peaceful for once.

Yesterday was Valentines Day. For the very first time in my life after separation 11 years back, there is no sense of loneliness. I praise and thank my God for that nice feeling inside me.

I know from this year forth i will bloom. Much like the cherry blossom i have posted here, my winter is over and spring has FINALLY arrived.

A profile Of Courage

Its 3.10am now and I can't sleep. Going for the first ever demostration in my life. Heard a lot of danger and wonder if I am doing the right thing. The government is definitely not happy about this, however what wrong is it for a peaceful voice of opinion? I do not and am not interested to side political party. Be it opposition or ruling party, politics is indeed a very dirty game. Everyone looks or rather portray to be clean but the truth is left to be revealed. I however am concern about the new generations. If indeed cronies are true, very soon a vast majorityof my dear countryman would become as poor as our neighbour. No longer will there be indon maids or philippina maids but malaysian. I am concern about the over usage of resources which is in the expense of our grand childrens. An vast income disparity will cause unrest. Yet salary is not increasing higher than food. The poor will be suffering even further. In the past there are food to be pluck from some drains (like kang kung or guava fruits, bread fruit) grown in the wild. Even those are a history. I really wonder how are the poor surviving. Yet some heatless politician can still misuse government's allocated funds for their own sefish desires. One side of good intention but another way for unscrupulous people to "rob from the poor". My opinion stands that those should be have their citizenship revoked and all assets, includes family be frozen and taken back,despise before or after entering into politics. This will teach a lesson to many.

I do what I do is right or not. However if I do not stand up now and voice out my dissatisfaction, it is also not fair for the ruling party to know and be given a chance to change.

A reading came by : I will go to the King, eventhough it is against the law. And if I perish,I perish. -esther

I looked at it and saw that nothing is coincidence. God had prepared esther to be at the position. She has been blessed but that is not where she was made for. She shud not be contented but takes care of her people. The same time God do prepare King Xerxes before esther revealing all things to him. Perhaps he would not have believe that mordecai is innocent if not for so. Indeed I will take on the role God puts me in.Lord be with me and. takes care of me wherever I am.

ARE WE READY?

Yesterday an 8.2 magnitude of tsunami hit indonesia again and many of those living in the west coast of Malaysia is simply just worried. Those staying in condominiums rushed down, panic strike and did not know what to do. This all reminds me of a friend's sharing that in this century should the history of hiroshima be repeated, people dies not from radioactive rays bbut from fear. Yes, fear. Would we?
Are we ready for what was foretold to us? A testing time ahead. All these catatrophes is only a beginning of what is about to ccome. I read about dystophia phenomenan a couple of weeks back and again convinced that what will happen is beyond what we can comprehend. A global meltdown of long build economic empires, a huge shortage of food, suffering children, wars and. Wars, this time for survival. While we are still clung on to our handbags, shoes or houses, anger or hatred, what is about to strike is terrifying. Are our children being prepared for it? Or are they going to be panic striken or confident?

DO WE HAVE A FREE CHOICE?

This morning I've got the chance to take a glimpse at the Daily Bread. A reading impresses me hard - Do we look at people as losers of just simply lost soul?
I admit personally many a times I do look at people as losers, especially after countless tries of sharing and encouragement without seeing results or changes.
Losers or lost? How do we determine them? In my opinion, losers gives excuses to their failure, and void improvement steps. How about the lost? The lost do not give an excuse. They simply believe that they are right. I do ponder can circumstances be an excuse for the lost? A yes and a no. Yes because they are indeed blinded. No because everyone has a choice to make. Question is; are we really free to make a choice?
The Bible did mention that the sinful will be in bondage. Can CHOICES be eliminated when we are sinful? Can our blindness indeed close doors? I consider the case of a blind person in a new room. He uses his hands to move about, touching and feeling everywhere just to move about in a room. Along the path he could have broken a few things, hurt his hands and probably bang into a few corners. He could have use a stick or whatever to move about but perhaps there are shortcuts which he could have taken if he could see them. He could have saved a lot of time, effort and most importantly risk of being injured. He does have a choice but his choice is limited. Is it the same metaphor for the lost? Are we going thru life in a much longer routing and risk being hurt along the way? I think I need to have my eyes open wide.